"So, you have how much experience in this field?" He made me wait in an uncomfortable meeting room for ten minutes. His assistant was in a rush for me to finish the five page, photocopied application. The application they had me fill out was something that I've never seen before. I was thoroughly convinced that it was set up specifically to deter...well...everyone. In the previous employer section, there was a part that I had to fill out entitled, "Why Did You Leave Your Last Job?" Like, differences of opinion, unable to meet unobtainable sales numbers, or getting laid off weren't good enough reasons? Is it really pertinent to this job I'm applying for? Should I remember the reasons you let me go in the future for the next company that doesn't want to hire me to begin with? "How much experience do you have in this field?" He said, barely interested in what he was reading.
The week before, I applied for several jobs in one day. Got calls back on all of them. This job that called me back, I had no (literally no) experience in. I never expected a call back from them, but that all changed when the phone rang and I answered like some college kid hung over from the night before, "Who are you again?" Things, suffice to say, didn't go so well for the next 24 hours.
They called me into a job that I had no hope of ever getting hired in, the boss' assistant had to tell me to hurry up and fill out a five page application that was written by Beelzebub. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this moment in time. The boss of the company was playing with me; filling the air with, "Oh. You went to University...not a trade college?" and, "you know, it is difficult to find a job in this area." He said to the guy who's unemployment just ran out and who's been looking to no avail since January. "How much experience do you have in this field."
Although I didn't say it, my expression was doing all the talking. "Look pal, I don't know how I got in here, but you and I both know that this is just a waste of time. Can you just hurry up and get to 'no'?"
Waste of time.
What to do now?
Beat my head against a wall for another 8 months, or get up and move in another direction?
I'm studying Quickbooks. I don't need an MBA or have to be certified by some board, all I need is experience and the will to know how to use it. And, since everywhere in this town is a Mom-and-Pop Venture and they don't need CPA's with a Harvard degree, it would behoove me to bone up on this skill and become a gun-for-hire.
In the meantime, I have bills. And they're piling up.
I've been saying it for months. I've been dancing around the subject but never really pulling the trigger. I've been motivating myself every week, and I still have yet to take that initial step forward.
By the end of this week, I hope that I have some Freelancing gigs. Which is kind of a big deal, because I've never done this before. But considering the circumstances, I have very little choice.
I've been putting on my Bravado hat for months now. I've been saying that I will do this. I will do this. I will do this.
...so why haven't I? (Excuse me while I talk to myself for a minute...)
- I don't have enough followers? No, that can't be the case. You have a fraction of the readership any other blog would have, but you're gaining interest every day, and you trust and love each of your followers. The numbers will grow. Just give it time.
- I don't think I'll be able to reach the requirements? Well, considering you've just cranked out over 600 words in just under 30 minutes, I don't think that will be much of an issue. You used to thrive under pressure. You also had a mild stroke at 35. Regardless, it's in your nature to do this.
- My research skills aren't that great? Dude...I don't wanna hear this. You were born in the Year of the Rooster, do you know what that means? That means you are a born detective. You were named after the Patron Saint who found things that couldn't be found. As soon as one of your so-called jobs asked you to do research on a certain subject, you dove right in without thinking twice. This is what you do. Stop denying yourself this. You aren't a numbers man. You're a words man.
- I'd run out of things to blog about? Okay, now you're wasting my time...which is essentially YOUR time. I think you have run out of excuses...
There is nothing to fear because nothing has happened yet. And nothing will happen until you move forward. If you want to fear something, fear not moving forward. Fear not taking a chance. Fear not believing in yourself.
Fear giving up.
...It's up to you...